WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Friday requested that Democrats delay any assassination attempts until after he finishes his remarks at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, according to a satirical report.
In the parody piece published by the Babylon Bee, Trump is depicted asking attendees to hold their fire so he can deliver a speech he described as carefully prepared and “even more beautiful than the last speech I had planned for this event.”
“Hold your gunfire until the end, please,” the satirical version quotes Trump as saying. “I spent so long working on this speech… You’re going to love it so much, and you’ll be so glad you waited until it was over to start the shooting.”
The piece portrays Democrats as divided over the request. One fictional CBS correspondent is quoted expressing reluctance, citing past opportunities to “steal wine” by acting before dinner. The satire concludes that Democrats planned one attempt before dinner and would postpone the rest if Trump survived.
The article is satire. It references the real April 2026 White House Correspondents’ Dinner, which was disrupted by a gunman who exchanged fire with authorities outside the event. A rescheduled, heavily secured version of the dinner took place in late July 2026, where Trump delivered an extended, often critical address to a smaller audience.
